Re-framing my photos

I had a privilege of spending Mother's Day weekend with my parents and my kids.  Because they're within a couple of hours drive of us, we usually do day trips only and have shorter visits but as my husband and his parents were redoing our bathroom, I took the kids to see Marmee and Pere pere for a few days--and I took LOTS of photos.

I LOVED this one--It reminded me of one of the last photos I have with my mom's mom who passed when I was 7, where she, my sister and I were out on our swing set.  I showed it to my mom and her response was her usual "well, my hair is bad and my thighs are big but other than that, it's a good photo."

I'm not saying this to slam my mom but because I think it's something a LOT of us do--we critique our appearances in photos with a very keen eye.  I mean I'll admit that there probably aren't a lot of photos of me with my kids (partially because 90% of the time, I'm the one taking photos), but when I do my eyes go to similar places.  But this time it gave me pause because as I've realized that I'm growing to look more and more like my mom and I'm always told that my daughter looks like me. I heard what she was saying differently this time.

I thought, "how would I feel if I heard my daughter who is 1 1/2, voicing things like this about herself?"  And I stopped. I feel very strongly that my daughter is beautiful and amazing and, well, I'm her mom and it hurts to think that some day she might not see herself the way I do. And I realized something about my lack of body confidence and fears of not being liked--unless I changed the way I talked about myself in photos in front of my boys, my daughter, too, would pick this up.  And she would feel and talk this way about herself.

SO I decided to reframe everything--I can like a photo or not and can even voice how I feel about a photo because whether it's flattering or not says more about lighting or angles than the individual's form.  What's more important to consider isn't a critique of forms but how a photo makes you feel, or what you felt in that moment.  I love that photo and my mom because she's here, she loves her grandkids and playing with them and I see that reflected in this photo.

In an effort to work towards this "focus on how a photo makes you feel" approach, I also took a lot of pictures when I did a 5k with my son yesterday.  It was his first...and my first in a couple of years (I didn't do them while pregnant with my 3rd child or for awhile afterward due to energy and time).  I was proud.  I felt strong and happy and it was a beautiful day and being there with him to see him work through it was fun and encouraging.  It was encouraging to me, too, to  press on and remember that I'm capable of this as well.  So this may well be my new favorite "me"--not at peace with my body, but working towards it and definitely someone not afraid to take pictures and remember that in working towards health, I feel empowered and happy and like I can help my kids develop positive attitudes about being healthy and their bodies, too.

I'm challenging you to do the same--let's change the ways in which we talk about our photos and ourselves.  We're not sizes and forms to critique, but people at moments in time that can make us (and others) feel a myriad of  emotions worth remembering!