"Buckle Up"

 When I was 17, I had a dream in which I saw a church full of people weeping.  The cross at the front had been vandalized and split.  I woke up feeling 2 things: 1) that I had been called and 2) certain that that place was Japan.  I told my parents, and they sort of nodded ‘okay’ and asked if I was sure it was Japan.  I didn’t know how, but yes, I was.  In an odd/God turn of events, less than 18 months later, I found myself  in Japan serving on a short term missions team where I was singing and playing flute.  We had a chance to teach a bit of an English lesson too, and that’s where I really fell in love with teaching ESL and felt called to that as well. I expected that I would make my way back to Japan to teach, even just short term—but I haven’t.  In fact, each time I’ve had opportunity to teach in Asia since (a summer in Taiwan,  a trip as a PhD student to Thailand to talk about my work),  misfortune happened—programs being canceled in the first case, and a flood in the second that prevented travel (and then a small baby preventing me from attending the rescheduled conference a year later).

Part of me has always wondered “why?”—why the dream, what good did we really accomplish in Japan (though a friend and I on that trip did have such strong feelings in one church that we just spent an hour praying in the chapel for them). I haven’t had a dream like that or that strong of a feeling/message since—until a few nights ago.

I’ve started reading Anne LaMott’s “Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers” and even while reading it, several quotes and snippets stuck out to me.  My favorite so far is from the poet Rabindranath Tagore—

I slept and dreamt that life was joy.

I awoke and saw that life was service

I acted and behold, service was joy.

So much of what I’ve learned the past five years especially has been that while I dreamt of international ministry and teaching or that my dissertation would receive more attention, life hasn’t been that way.  It’s been a lot of faithfulness to tasks at hand, most of which are far from glamorous: working with students, listening to their stories and trying to help them along as best as I could, reading, writing and rewriting, listening to feedback, reading and rewriting again,  and wiping baby bums, cleaning up spit up, getting up at 4:30am with excited kiddos and trying to get them to eat healthy, say please and thank you and use words instead of hitting (yes, even Rory is now in this learning phase).  You know what though? There is great joy in these moments too—as lessons are learned, students connect with and are inspired by new ideas, my children learn to walk and feed themselves and say please and thank you and though so much struggle has been there for Tristan, we’ve heard so, so, so many voices of late tell us just how much they have seen him learn and grow.  Rory learning to crawl and cruise and seeing him light up as his brother talks to him all the time the last 2 weeks or so has been pretty exciting too. Service to students and children has become a joy.

But there’s more.  And I have no idea what this will mean. 

Annie says early in the book, “I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, with no proof, that my grandfather prayed for all of us kids.  And as it turns out, if one person is praying for you, buckle up.  Things can happen” (LaMott, 2012, pp.19).  It gave me chills the first time I read that.  I’ve seen a lot over the years to know just how much prayer changes me.  As I’ve watched several friends battle Cancer or loss this year, so many of them talked about how in those moments of bad news and struggle, they had never felt more surrounded by God’s love and strength—whether or not cancer went into remission or the loss got any easier.  Loss or bad news didn’t convince them that God didn’t care or didn’t exist, but rather seemed to have the opposite impact.  This is not to say that they felt God gave them the illness or loss, but that he was there as it happened and helped walk them through it. It was so inspiring to watch and in hearing their stories, I saw God working and loving and caring for not only the person walking through dark moments, but also their family and friends.

What does this have to do with anything?  Well…I’m not entirely sure. All I know is that for the first time in 14 years, I feel like God is speaking directly to me in dreams.  No clear images, at least not yet—but I keep waking up during the night and in the morning hearing “buckle up.”  I have no idea what this will mean, but the first time took me to Japan and after seeing and experiencing so much loss already this year, I’m confident that whatever I’m being called to or through, God will see me through it.  I just had to share this message—buckle up.  God is at work and doing something right now, calling us to serve in mundane ways and/or in new ways.  And he is very much here with us. 

Parable of the Wedding Feast in action (a really fun week to bless others!)

September 1, 2013

KFW—Gather around the table!  God loves everyone—Let’s show others how much God loves them—no exceptions!  (Luke 14:7-14)

Come and join me at the table, will you? Let’s sit together in a circle.

Do you know what Jesus said about gathering at the table?  He tells a story about how we should not always think of ourselves first, but take care of others first because it honors God.  He told a man who was feeding him dinner, “The next time you put on a dinner, don’t just invite your friends and family and rich neighbors, the kind of people who will also invite you to dinner. Invite some people who never get invited out, the misfits from the wrong side of the tracks. You’ll be—and experience—a blessing. “

In a few weeks, we will be having the Jesus Love Feast at our church. Do you know what this is?  This is one day a year we have a BIG party at our church and next door at North County Christian church and we offer food, clothes, play time, games and fun for families and children who are very special—they do not have homes to live in and don’t usually get invited to big parties.  It is a very special time for people in our church who want a chance to give something to people who can’t give us something back.  It is a chance to show our love for God.  That day, we can’t have a lot of kids here (you would be bored with those jobs!)  but you can help me today by making cards for the Jesus love feast.  Draw pictures, tell our special guests how much Jesus loves them and how much we really want to share with them.  Can you help me make cards today? 

The Calling of Jeremiah

August 25, 2013—KFW—Calling of Jeremiah

pp. 176-177 in the spark bible

Narrator:  When Jeremiah was just a boy, God told him

God:  You will be a prophet and tell alllllll sorts of people about me!

Jeremiah:  I can’t believe it!  ME???

God: Jeremiah, I knew who you were before you were even growing inside your mom.  You were born to be a prophet!

Narrator:  but Jeremiah was nervous.

Jeremiah:  But God?  I’m just a kid!  I don’t know what to say to grownups.

God:  We’ll do it together.  Where you go, I’ll go with you.  When you talk, I’ll give you the words.

Narrator: God touched Jeremiah’s lips.

God:  Now your mouth is full of my words.  Go tell everybody about my love.

Narrator:  God and Jeremiah made a good team.  Jeremiah took God’s love to many people in many places.  What about you?  Just because you are a kid doesn’t mean God isn’t already doing great things in you and asking you to do great things for him.  What are some ways you can show God to others? 

What are some ways you can serve in the church?  We have an upcoming 55th anniversary of our church and we're looking for video of church members talking about their experiences of LCGS.  Would any of you like to interview people in the church?  We're also thinking about writing our own Christmas play this year--just like they used to do every year here--but having kids write the story for kids.  Would any of you be willing to write the script and story?  What has God called you to here?

8/18 "Cloud of Witnesses"

The lectionary draws upon Hebrews 11:29-12:2 for August 18, and the last two verses especially stood out to me when I started thinking about the bible story for the week

Hebrews 12:1-2a:Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

 Do you remember when we blew up balloons and sent them up into the sky for Jaime?  I like to think sometimes that she's up there in clouds, watching us, dancing and smiling.  Today in our stories we talked about a "cloud of witnesses."  A witness is someone who knows the truth and shares the truth with others.  In this case, we're talking about the truth about Jesus and his love.  How do we share this truth about God's love?  (ask kids to respond--see if you can get them to talk about telling others about Jesus, songs, playing nicely with our brothers and sisters, helping our mom and dad, coming to church, etc.) 

Where is the cloud of witnesses?  Well...The cloud of witnesses is kinda like the internet; it's out *THERE* (gesture wide) , we can talk to all sorts of people from everywhere in the world, and we can feel all connected to each other.  On facebook, I can talk to my family, my friends--and I can even still talk to Jaime, on her page.  I do sometimes.  Would you like to leave a message for Jaime?  Some of the adults here today are going to help you write out messages for Jaime and other people who have taught us about Jesus love.  You can thank them, tell them about how you feel today, or tell them about how you are sharing Jesus love with others.

Remember the picture clouds you made in Sunday school earlier?  We're going to take them and post them on the big front bulletin board, turning them into a bigger cloud.  See how BIG the cloud is?  That's just the Jesus love cloud that surrounds us here--how much bigger do you think it would be if the adults upstairs added to it?  What about if other churches in Hazelwood added to it? What about in ALL of Missouri? That's the cloud of witnesses and love of Jesus--it's HUGE!  It's full of people who want us to know Jesus and love him and help us to grow into wonderful people who will share our love with others. 

Can you pray with me?
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for your love.  Thank you for everyone who shows me your love.  Help me to show your love to others and tell them about you.
Amen.

Grief and Elmo

My grandma likes to tell the story of the moment she realized I was a very passionate person who was not afraid to be angry with God.  When I was 5, my mom gave birth to my second younger sister, Hannah.  While she'd felt the baby move the night before, the baby was stillborn.  We took pictures, mom and dad held her, and...well, mostly I cried and raged about how I just wanted my new baby sister to be there (my 2 year old sister had more reason to be angry as Hannah had been born on her birthday, and so for years to come it was hard for us to celebrate...but I suppose that's neither here nor there).

It wasn't until I was in my  early teens that I really started to talk about it and was able to participate in art therapy with another friend going through the loss of a sibling that I really started to understand my own loss and heal.

 I don't know that I'm any better with handling grief these days, let alone helping others process it, but these are things I do know:
1) I have cried more in the past 3 or 4 days than I did in the days immediately following Jaime's death, as I came to several realizations.

2) I realized that the reason I'd freaked out about the kids trying to sneak out early to go splash! in the pools was that I was terrified of someone drowning.  We know all too well now that it's possible to drown in an inch of water.  The fact that that clouds how I perceive and react to very happy and energetic children just wanting to play in the water makes me realize that I have a lot more processing and grieving to do--and adjustments to make.

3)  I realized that it's really starting to hit home for the kids, too.  T asked me for the first time in a couple of months last week if we could call Jaime.  And he asked again, even after I reminded him that we couldn't call her anymore because Jaime was with Jesus.  And he yelled that he wanted to call Jaime and see Jaime...and I didn't know how to soothe him or what to say next.

4)  While we focused on helping the little ones understand and find comfort, I think we may have missed the mark with the older kids, and they're hurting too and unsure how to express it. Bryon pulled me aside twice on Sunday to talk about his recital, the songs dedicated to Jaime and the moments of silence.  I told him that that was a really nice way to remember her, but...I'm still not sure that was enough.  Pastor said he talked to her as well.  I was worried he might be feeling brushed aside.  I'm not sure what the answer is to this, but I do know this--a meaner, heavier grief that speaks of time and longing and emptiness has set in for many and some of the anger over her death has come.  And some of the understanding over what this loss really means is beginning to set in for so many.

Now is the time for us, as families, as those who loved Jaime, and those who miss her dearly, to start listening to the grief of our children and helping them to find a way to talk about it, write about it, draw about it--whatever helps them better understand and heal.

We talked about this at staff meeting this week, and decided that Elmo Sunday (September 8) would be a good opportunity for this downstairs.  Back in March, I approached T's school counselor over what some good resources were for talking about death of a close loved one--and she sent me to this:

http://video.pbs.org/program/when-families-grieve/

While other books sort of helped a bit, T broke down crying when we watched this and started asking more questions about Jaime.  It wasn't so sad in and of itself--but I think it's how he finally put the pieces together.  We're planning to have the Sunday school teachers show this on September 8, and we're going to spend a good portion of our time during KFW talking about grief and how it's okay to be sad and that grief can be part of God's will as well.

Pastor Linda spoke to us at staff meeting on how a current child psychologist believes grief should be taught to kindergarteners, like please and thank you and sharing.  Seeing as I'm in my thirties and still struggle with how to grieve at times, I agree.  I also remember that grieving reminds me of the community and love that surrounds us.  I believe that grieving is done as a community as well, and it seems to be time to listen for what the kids have to say to us about what they've learned through grief--and to give them space and time to talk about their grief over losing Jaime.  May we all find the words we need to share, if need be, but mostly may we have the ears to hear what they need to say.

The Rich Fool and God's Generosity

 Knowing that this is our annual Splash event and that we'd want to incorporate puppets, Craig and I looked for a dramatic version already out there for kids and tried to adapt it for puppets (and the puppets we already had!)  It originally called for birds, cows and rabbits.  Instead, we found in our puppet closet:  a dove...(and Godwin will make a special "guest starring" role), a sheep, a lion, and a giraffe.  We figured the giraffe was more likely to eat the lettuce  than the lion and so it was included in our little menagerie.  

From: www.kidswise.com.au

1

The Rich Fool and God's Generosity

Luke 12:13-21

Narrated Drama – Script by Emily Hager and Craig Stanley. An adaptation of Sandy Galea's "The Parable of the Rich Fool" and N.Butterworth and M. Inkpen's ‘The Rich Farmer’.  

**Main Point – God is generous to us and calls us to be generous to others, instead of hoarding the treasures we are given.

Narrator: There once was a farmer. He was a very rich farmer, who had good soil, rain, and sun. His corn grew faster than all

the other farmers, and  harvest time he had much

more corn than all the other farmers.

He was happy, but he had a problem. He had MOUNDS of corn. His old barn was too small to store all the corn.

It was far too small!  So the farmer sat down and thought,

Farmer Puppet: "Um!"

“No Problem! I will knock down this old barn and build a bigger, better barn. Then next year, I will be rich. Rich enough to take a rest."

Narrator: So the farmer set to work.

He took down the old barn,

and he built a new bigger, better

barn. But, at harvest time the next year,

the new barn was still too small.You see the farmer had been

greedy. He had planted even more corn.

And some carrots as well.

The farmer said to himself,

Farmer Puppet: “No problem.

I will build an even bigger, better,

super-dooper barn. Then next year, I can have a

really great holiday”

Narrator:

So the farmer pulled down the

barn and he built a bigger, better,

super-dooper barn. But at harvest time the next year,

even the bigger, better, superdooper

barn was still too small. Again the farmer had

planted more corn, more carrots,

and a few lettuces as well.

So the farmer said,

Farmer puppet: “I will build the most super-dooper, bigger and better GIANT

barn in all the world. Then I will be so rich, I will never have to work again!”

Narrator:  So the farmer pulled down the

barn, and he built a barn that was

enormous. It was higher than the tallest

tower. When he had finished building

the barn the farmer smiled.

 Farmer puppet: “Tomorrow I will harvest my corn

and my carrots and my lettuces. And when that is done I can have

some fun!.

I know what I'll do! I'll have a party!  PARTY! (puppet dances)"

Narrator:  But that very night,

while the farmer was asleep, (Farmer snores loudly)

he died. (Farmer dies dramatically)

Just like that!

Pause.

The birds ate up all his corn. The sheep ate up all his carrots.

The giraffe ate up all his lettuces.

Wait—giraffe? (giraffe looks at narrator) Where did that giraffe come from?  (shrugs as the giraffe prances across stage and then disappears)

And the super-dooper, bigger and better GIANT barn stood empty.The rich farmer never did get to have a party. He never got time to enjoy being

rich.

(Narrator moves to centre stage and addresses the audience)

Jesus said,

"It is very, very silly for anyone to

spend their whole life trying to get

richer and richer.

You see, God gives us much and so we, in return, should share our treasures with others instead of keeping it all to ourselves.