Vibrant Faith-Based Family Mentoring
Program
Though it seems like “Mentoring” is
something you see everywhere lately (jobs, pop culture, the news, schools, just
to name a few), and is very popular, it’s also something that’s been
around for a very long time, as evidenced by apprenticeships, advisors, and
multi-generational living situations.
Dictionaries define mentors as: friend, advisor, coach, guide, teacher,
and role model. Mentoring may mean all
of these things—or different things—in the position you’re
undertaking in this new endeavor.
Why develop mentorship relationships?
I could tell you about the recent (2010) Pew studies that
indicate 30% of the 18-25 year olds in the US now have a church background, as
opposed to 50% or more 20 years ago, but that’s only part of it http://faithcommunitiestoday.org/sites/faithcommunitiestoday.org/files/A%20Review%20of%20the%20Young%20Adult%20Literature.pdf.
One of the most
distinctive characteristics of Millenials (those born between 1982-2002,
roughly) is that they seek out authentic relationships (see Christian Smith’s Souls in Transition for more
information) and one of the largest factors in whether or not someone stays at
a church is relational—did they feel like they made a connection with
someone? Likewise, there’s
indication that in those over 60, close
family and friend connections correlate strongly with higher perceived quality
of life (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/12/business/retirementspecial/for-older-adults-close-connections-are-key-to-healthy-aging.html?_r=0)
The truth is that many of our young families (who have children 0-12 years old) feel connected with each other, possibly through KFW or other events, but have expressed a dis-connect with the church as a whole. Those who do not attend KFW have often expressed to us a disconnect with “the folks downstairs.” And this opportunity seeks to fill a gap. It isn’t as intimidating as crossing the upstairs/downstairs line. It isn’t about engaging with a large group of people—it’s a chance for one family or person to get to connect with another person or family in a casual atmosphere outside of church.
There may be opportunities for all mentors and mentees to
have a gathering or training, but the primary purpose is to build formal
relationships (by which I mean that you will be paired with someone at the
church) but in informal ways, to fit around busy schedules and your own shared
interests and level of comfort.
Initial Approach vs. Established Approach
In coming years, we hope to have a list of those willing to
serve as mentors that can be paired with newcomers to the church, as a
relational and faith development tool.
In the current/initial stages, we’re reversing things a bit. As soon as I mentioned this connection idea,
there were families in KFW who immediately expressed interest. As soon as I asked about those they felt they
might like to connect with (who were not blood-related but part of our church family),
they knew people that they either had some relationship with that they’d like
to strengthen or people they admired from afar that they’d like
to get to know. Hopefully I’ll be
writing letters (or emails, depending on the individuals) shortly explaining
the interest in mentoring and relationship building.
Even if you’re not approached by someone as mentor or mentee, don’t be afraid to come and talk to me and join the process!
Even if you’re not approached by someone as mentor or mentee, don’t be afraid to come and talk to me and join the process!
Okay, but what will it look like?
Not to be frustratingly vague, but it will look differently
for different people. Maybe some of you
will have coffee once a month. Maybe you’ll meet
at a park or have dinner at each others’ houses. Maybe schedules are so incredibly busy that
you’ll
become just phone friends or penpals.
The point is to encourage each other in the faith. We’re seeking to do it across
generational lines not only to bridge felt gaps, but also because there are
times as young parents you have questions about teaching kids faith and what’s
worked for others, and there are times that
young kids absolutely LOVE spending time talking to people they
think/know are smarter than their parents.
While Tristan loved having his grandma here last week during VBS, it was
Ms. Carol (Gray) and Ms. Nancy (Long--whose art projects he adored!) that he
came home and talked about. It’s as
much connection as you’d like—or as little as remembering to pray for and check
in with your mentor/mentee families when you see them or think about them.
This isn’t meant to feel like an obligation so please know that if
it feels like too much to do, you can always say “No.”
We’re
just hoping to strengthen relationships within the church where there is some
interest, but you’re
not sure how to get started.
