Nerves, nerves--and odd realizations

I've been using the Panera Bread up the street from my son's preschool as an "office" for the past month or so.  Every time I'm here, one particular group of retirees seems to be here, and today I got up the nerve to ask them to participate in my study. They said yes--and then only one said he'd do it today while the others listened.  Yes, it was pretty nerve-wrecking.  I read it wrong--every time I thought he was done with an answer and would pause, I'd start the next question only to find he'd had something else he'd start to say and then stop. The interview only lasted five minutes and I'd heard him talk a LOT in the past.

At the end, he seemed REALLY nervous and asked if I was going to report him or something.  He'd said very little, if anything at all, that was even close to someone perceiving as 'offensive' (I'm hard to offend).  I said, "no, of course not."  He said that he believed that when it came down to it, everyone was "out for their race."  When I looked puzzled, he clarified "I mean, when it comes down to it, everyone will choose someone of their own race, their own religion, over others.  That's just the way of human nature."  He then said "I'd choose jewish people over Muslims, because at least Jews believe the same God."  I spoke up "Muslims believe in the same God."  "What about Mohammed?"  "He was a prophet. They believe he was the last prophet."  "Allah?"  "Yeah, God--Allah is just the Arabic word for God."  He was taken aback.  "You mean they believe in Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob?"  Not wanting to really split hairs, I nodded (yes, I know Ishmael and not Isaac is considered the heir) "'cause that's the same God I believe in," he said.  "Are you Muslim?"  he asks.  I shake my head no.  "Are you Arab?" he asks and laughs.  I say "actually, you'd be surprised. some of the Palestinian women are much lighter skinned than me."  Of course, I accidentally opened a whole new can of worms with that. Unfortunately, I think I offended.  I wonder how he'd react if he knew I was a Christian.  I did try to interject that a bit when we talked earlier--about my son's preschool and my ESL work.

And for all of this?  The recorder was already turned off.  The formal interview was over anyway--and I can also tell that I don't think he or his friends might ever talk to me again.  Except one.  When I explained that this study started with my ESL students whose neighbors were afraid of them, one of his friends piped up.  "funny you mention neighbors.  Now that I think about it, there's a Nigerian couple that lives across the street that's Muslim.  We just say our hellos sometimes, but they mainly keep to themselves."  "How do you know they're Muslim?" I pressed a bit.  "My wife invited them over for dinner once, and they mentioned that they don't eat pork and a couple of other little signs."

It was nice to meet someone over 60 who seemed to connect with what I was saying.

Overall, though, the experience reminds me why in the past I've begin with saying that I'm a Christian woman just trying to talk about commonalities and not convert anyone.  It's funny to me, now, that it seems more important to start with this disclaimer when interviewing other Christians, and not when talking with Muslims.  How is it that my work seems more distrusted by people like me, than by those who have the most to fear about my intentions and writings?   This feels so odd.