I nearly screamed with joy last night. I had a text from Rose, who had gotten my chapter and would read it as soon as she could...
But she'd recently gotten married and moved and life was a bit in chaos.
I was honestly just thrilled to hear from her and know that she was still involved with the study, even from afar. I wouldn't say all of the women have become my good friends, but I do feel strongly connected to them in some ways and invested in their lives. It was nice to hear that Rose's story had taken an even more positive turn recently and that she was off on a new adventure. Even in our interviews, she'd talked about missing the west coast and feeling somewhat stuck and stifled when she returned to the Midwest 6 or 7 years ago, so it was good to hear that she had now moved to the East coast. A different coast, but a place where she felt like she had opportunities galore. Her family, of course, stayed here, but I have no doubt that her sisters and parents will stay close in touch.
It was a bit strange getting this message when I did. I was out to dinner with Angela and Sujin, two of my fellow graduate students, celebrating that the semester was over, that they'd finished their last classes and that Sujin had recently successfully defended her dissertation proposal. We were talking about passing around IRB information, reading comp exam essays (for Angela, who will be sitting hers in July), and getting feedback on each other's writing. It's not exactly a family network, but sometimes it feels like it. This work can be lonely and sometimes the families that we live with do not understand the process or offer help. My graduate school "family" is a family formed by similar experiences, past research and writing collaborations, and intellectual interest in each other's topics. Sujin, Angela, and I have all been interested in language learning, language teaching, and identity development issues. Reading their work helps drive my own research and build connections between us.
No reading was involved last night, though. Sure, between bites of hummus, Baba Gannoush, Taboleh, falafel and stuffed grape leaves, there was talk of IRB and writing, but we mostly enjoyed the food and the company. It was the first time we'd been able to meet since right before AERA in April. It was re-energizing to talk about life with others in the midst of this crazy process. We even talked about trying to get tickets to the symphony or go dancing together! While Rose and Amira do keep in contact about their part of the study (as does Ashley), it's the strong network we have of researchers who are at dissertation phase now that keeps me going.
Much like the life stories I've heard, mine, too, speaks of the importance of strong ties to family--even if the most important family at this stage isn't technically my "family" at all. My family is encouraging, but nothing pushes me quite like hearing "I'm looking forward to reading your conclusions" or "Can you send me your discussion chapter? I want to see how you ended up doing analysis," or my absolute favorite-- "can I see your finished outline? I know you're not doing the standard 5 chapter format and I'm thinking about different ways to structure mine as well." Nothing pushes you to finish quite like that last one! I don't think I could do this without Sujin, Angela, and Lisa (my advisor), and I'm grateful for their enthusiasm, drive, and company on this journey.
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