One of my absolute favorite books to read to my little guys (6 and 3) right now is called Jonathan James and the "What If?" Monster. It's about a little boy who's dealing with a "What If" Monster in his head, "Filling us up with worry and dread." You can see the author reading the book in the link below:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmNQulc7pPI
My boys come by it honestly. I was the kid that had my mom reading "Your Worry-Wart Child" by the time I was in sixth grade. I was the kid who almost never slept the nights before tests. My boys are too young to deal with much testing, but the three year old is terrified:
*of the dark (even though he sleeps with a twilight turtle)
* of being alone (he shares a room with his brother now, so this helps)
*of big dogs
*of tunnels
* of going to Taekwondo (though he loves it when he gets there)
And the list goes on. His 6-year-old brother's list is pretty long too. I often listen to LOTS of fears right before they go to sleep and we try to talk through them.
The thing is, though I'm not AS fearful as I was as a kid, I still have LOTS of them, like:
*Ethical questions over clothes I buy and yet trying to be budget conscious
*Making the best choices I can for my family's health in terms of food, but also making sure I have things they WILL eat
* Educational choices for my boys' IEPs--making sure I advocate for their needs, knowing when to get them tested for delays, trying my best to model language and actions that will help them past delays and having them enrolled in things like Taekwondo that helps their balance, agility, ability to focus, etc.
*School District/area of St. Louis--making sure we are in an area where they can get a good education, but also carefully balancing in diversity and empathy for those different than themselves (trust me--the more I watch and read, the harder this seems to accomplish in Greater St. Louis)
*Trying to balance part time teaching, full time motherhood, and full time keeper of the house--and usually one or two of those slip constantly if we're honest.
*And then there's my health, my stress, and my sleep levels.
I used to sit around and compare and plan and do my BEST to do organic, things my kids would eat, ethical...and round and round and round and eventually we'd go out to eat or make tacos or something simple like that and I'd feel GUILTY, knowing that I almost certainly didn't make the right choice but had run out of time and energy.
This summer, I finally talked back to my "What if" Monster. "I have to stop doing nothing and worrying about my choices. It's time to go or get off the pot." So I said, "I'm trying this." I'm constantly re-evaluating, based on time-money-energy factors though. For example, this morning I had an eczema flare up after adding in OmegaPlex to my routine last night. I did some digging and was surprised by what I found. I had my gallbladder removed my senior year of college and was told then that "You should have no further problems." Nothing else, really, other than after care for the laproscopic wounds. Within a year, I could no longer eat processed meats without severe pain. After I had my oldest son, I developed lactose intolerance, but assumed they were unrelated. when I did a search on the Omega 3s, it started to fall into place--I was missing a HUGE piece in my health puzzle, and then I stumbled upon this:
http://www.oasisadvancedwellness.com/learning/living-without-gallbladder.html
Without knowing it, I wasn't taking care of body's needs and I needed to up my game. my body no longer digested fats as well as it used to (and that I'd figured out), and the cleanse phases were doing wonders for my overall wellness, but because I had no gallbladder, I couldn't process Omega 3s! They were actually being turned INTO fat! No wonder I wasn't losing much weight/stayed heavy even when exercising and eating right and was now having eczema outbreaks--my body couldn't handle the 03s~! I'd heard MOST of this stuff before and had gone to mostly natural cleaning products, deodorant, ACV water, cleanses...but not the digestive enzymes. I thought doing the rest, this wouldn't matter. Well, my skin says otherwise today, and so I ordered digestive enzymes after explaining this to my husband. "What's the worst that could happen? Nothing?" He said.
And then it clicked--this has sort of become our new motto. We were the cautious "let's wait and see" folks not too long ago. When our oldest was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism, we had to become a little more comfortable with experimenting: elimination diets, supplements, medicines, behavioral therapies because that was about "trying something else can't be any worse than the 'doing nothing' we have been doing." When I was tired of not finding full time teaching gigs and tired of staying at home full time and tired of being THIS heavy, it was 'Okay. I'm trying something new and walking away from the familiar--what's the worst that could happen?"
It sounds negative at first, I think, but what we mean is "I trust us. I'm stepping out in faith, not knowing where this will go, but it's time to silence the 'What If?' fears and move in the direction of action.
So tomorrow I get to start digestive enzymes, and hope they help. Lord knows I could use the "mind strengthening" power of Omega oils working in my favor right now!
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